i'm 19

sigh baby boy, you're making me a very depending person ><
Giving me all these memories and happiness, spoiling me like a little one. I don't know how to live alone already. I'm only 19, this is definitely not good.

I had so much fun just making him something, like i don't even expect him to love it or anything but making something FOR him is what makes me going. He could hate it, not like it or whatever, it doesn't bother me, as long as there is him for me to work for, I'm satisfied. That's how easy I get myself smiling. It's easy but it's not at the same time, cause if there isn't him, I guess I can't be happy anymore?I don't know but sometimes, it gets me worry.

Anyway, just wanna have a special post about this because he made it special. ><



bought him this cause expect him to come over alot so I wanna keep him warm! hehe Basement is cold ><


 Hehe my rabbit teeth dear and me <3 birthday="birthday" my="my" on="on" p="p">

 He wanted to surprised me by putting it in his towel and ask me to bring his towel to him, expecting me to find it but I end up bringing my towel and he was like NO i need mine please lol so I was omg troublesomeee, then found the necklace haha


 I made 21 of these on his birthday since it's his 21st birthday hehe He is officially an adult and can marry now!! lol But yeah, it wasn't pretty at all ( I tried to present it prettier but he ruin it ), but because his birthday was so special no store is open I can't make anything special but this >< Sorry. Even though I did said birthdays are nothing special, it's our first so let's just make it memorable hehe


 gingerbread cake, OMG SO GOOD!!! that dinner's desert. Unforgettable is the word.


 Hi baby <3 p="p">

 He knows my favourite brand and he knows I love simple. He knows. that's all that counts.


the process of mini cakes hehe

So what's so sad about lonely Christmas and birthdays? not the usual family-around-me birthday sigh.
But, at least I have him and myself :)

surprise tomorrow!

Tomorrow is the day I head to Winnipeg.
Dang I'm....excited? I don't know.
Everyone is keep telling me how bad is the place, how careful I need to be, how boring is it, etc etc. Okay guys, I get it, thanks for wishes =.=

All my stuff packed, no more fights, everything seems like ready to go, but no, I DON'T GET TO BRING MY POOH!!!! omg I'm honestly so damn freaking sad, like I literally wanna cry. I spent $30 on him, and it's my favourite stuffy ever, my fluffy pooh bear it is.
Just because of pooh bear, I've made up my mind to sneak back to Calgary February, to bring it over lol I cannot afford to lose it, and I really hate sleeping alone without anything to hold on to. Especially when daddy want's me to try living in residence, as I will, but not without my pooh T.T
I believe it will be fun but it just wasn't my plan!
I want my bear there >< And my mum wants to give it to Larissa!? NO!
like don't even think about it!!
I'll literally kill someone even if she dirties my Pooh, like she drooling all over it you know, NO!!

I have no idea how to do the surprise as I have no phones, no nothing. Sigh. But well, things will work out. I will find a way eventually.
Just getting to know how busy we will get >< I have to go to school, go find me a place to stay, move around, get to know the city, work on surprises. You know, bunch of work, so have a good sleep to myself ^^

Granny b ♥

It has been so long, i know.
It's just that I need to go through something that I didn't think i will have to so soon. I couldn't start doing anything like posting, talking about this because I couldn't help missing when I start. I tried to sit down remembering how I got here, and I will end up crying so hard and fell asleep in tears. So I couldn't, and I don't want to. It's not like it hurts, is just that I really miss.

I'm not sad, not in pain, just miss.
We don't cry, don't hide in the closet, like this is some sort of agony or grief. It's not.
We took it peacefully, like everyone was expecting it.
We even have fun and we still smile and laugh.
I do so too, like everyday since that night. It was just surprising for a sec, not even unacceptable. We just knew it's gonna happen, I just didn't expect it so soon.

I try to take it like how I should and how everyone else did. It's how it should be, anyhow, it's not a bad thing. It's not that I'm specially loving too, I'm just specially attached to her that's all.
How can I not though?
She's the woman who raised me with my mother and godmother, who fed me, tie my shoelaces, put on my clothes, treat me like a little princess since I was born.
She's the woman who let me in when my dad kicked me out cause I did something bad and keep buying me fake jade bracelet even though I keep breaking them. I felt bad every time I accidentally broke the bracelet, as it's from her. I remember clearly that feeling of guilt, cause I knew she walks to market every morning, not just to buy me that bracelet only but anyhow she thought of me when she saw that tiny bracelet for kids, and she bought it, hoping I will like it and look good in it. I remember telling her , "ah ma, lu koi, nang cheng siang kaun eh chiu huang! hehe" it means, "hey granny, look, we are wearing the same kind of bracelet!" she smiles and say yeah, so you have to take care of it and don't break it~ *PIANG* next second only....
She never scolded me for that, just keep buying me new ones.

I truly loves her and truly miss her. I try to stop crying now.

ahh...took me long enough to finish this one post.
You have to understand, it's not easy for me. Talking about those awesome memories, stuff, she gave me, talking about just her, it's not easy now that she's gone.

My granny, a woman who appears in most my childhood memories. I love her.


our last picture together ♥

ah ma, remember you kissed me?
see how you hold my hands?

I'm constantly missing you. How are you over there? They say if I cry it will not bring peace to your mind, I don't believe so. You know I'm not sad, I just miss you. You know I want the best for you and you will get it. But I will stop crying cause I know you will worry. Don't please. Ah ma, lu beh sai guai wa ma, wa xio lu nih ♥

that's all i have to say

Isn't it simple?

those emo moments

I miss being well taken care.

Well, who doesn't like being well take care? But everybody have to leave that comfort zone at one point, some earlier while others later.

I don't regret.
I just miss it.

Bangkok stays

Heading to Bangkok!





I'm sitting beside mummy so I made my beautiful mother to take picture with me ^^ I love you mummy ♥ Was gonna take with belove daddy too but he's too far >_< after having fun with camera obviously  you sleep, it's a flight, what else can you do? T.T

So then we comes to staying.
As it was a working trip, we cannot waste money on luxurious comfy nice hotel, so my experienced bro brought us to this not grand or anything, just comfortable and spacious enough for us to work and rest. You know how some cheap motels are small and very suffocating most of the time, this one is cheap but comfortable at the same time. Just the size is satisfying enough. Each room is big enough  to be renovated into 2 smaller rooms and still big enough. It's great for budget travelling, backpack travelling or like us, business trip XD
Oh right, Lemonseed is the name, run by Thai family, sister married to white man though, so no worries on communications as they can usually speak some English. Breakfast provided too!


 leng Sou.


 it might look small, but seriously it's BIG~ even the washroom is big enough to become a room lol



time to leave for work!


Think twice before you call yourself a shoe seller. If your store doesn't have too much shoes that you have to present them like this, no you're not selling shoes lol


 stores all the way to the unseen-able end.
selling all sorts of things, and I mean EVERYTHING! apparently even tigers...O.O


 and fat man's body, boobs, abs....why workout? just get your amazing body here!nobody will be able to tell, I promise. lol
in fact, the best halloween costume store XD


hmm, what is this shit? oh, a piece of shit. literally. lol


 A very nice store selling handmade clothes and bags, made by owner of store. She is a really nice person and very nice taste. She designed the store with the most vintage materials like that clock, and a fan that is currently blocked over by this...man... >< anyhow, it's amazing how she put each of those very vintage materials together and make it like that. this thing, creativity, something I can never understand @.@


 Obviously they sell dogs when they sell tigers.


 Damn CUTEEEE guinea pigs too~ dont use them for experiment ><


 then Jenny's store lol I didn't know you're selling bra!?


What we got for the first day after couple hours walking in the market. These are not mine k? I wish = = just okay performance for the first day work. Need to work harder the next day!!!


Tired ah sou, passed out on bed while everyone take shower. Rushing to dinner, only time to rest now! It was like that, sigh.


Then you know, you always need to go home.

Bye Bangkok! it was nice seeing you again ^^

tiring but fun, definitely do this again. :)

back to Bangkok!

This is gonna be about food k? let's just feature food first, everything together will be too much and my favourite is food so, here we go XD

advice of the day : NEVER ask a taxi driver about where to dine in, taxi scams are just horrible. They do not consider your situation, they just bring you to wherever that's willing to pay them some commission. What you get is nothing but a meal that's not satisfying at all and a extremely surprisingly unacceptable bill, that usually ruins your day(even though you were having your best day ever shopping XD) Simply beware, it's SOOOOO common =.=
Like most tourists, we wants to find something nice and local, since we're there, you know, just those tourist thoughts. So dinner time, we asked the driver to bring us this restaurant we found online and he's all like oops-not-there, and so we are like okay recommend us something then (*dom* fell into trap), then you know, obviously he brought us to this big restaurant, looking good and everything. My bro thinks it doesn't look right even before we got off the taxi (while my os:perasanlah budak ni~). Why? cause there's too many white people (lol racist), but i'll just say they don't have same taste buds as Asians ( bad taste..? ) hehe while my man totally agree with this saying *hee* so we already think we won't like it.
Anyway, we sat down and I try to check if there's wifi so that I can text but suddenly thought of like hmm why not check the reputation of the restaurant? thanks to that, and the bizarre-enough name I easily found out that it's a well-known scam and rating is 18/21, on the bad side obviously. Then what? time to go!



The restaurant first driver bought us >:3

Innocent people like me (hoho), thought the taxi driver will not scam us after knowing that we JUST got scam 5 seconds ago, but nope! not so lucky, the 2nd taxi driver was like screw-you-dumb-tourist and literally just brought us to another expensive restaurant while saying that it's very cheap and nice, and my family was like REALLY!? my family, never compromise in eating decided to say NO to scams! and again, walk away. Then all of a sudden found this restaurant beside the big tourist restaurant which look typical and we were hungry as hell so without other choices anyway, we decided to give it a try, thanks to that, it turn out to be a pretty good choice.


You can obviously, it's fine dining, so a little pricey, but totally acceptable, for a family thing. Well, com on! it's a family trip, make some good memory for everyone too?


Sorryyy, but everyone was so hungry, no one bothers to wait till I finish taking picture lol
Even a simple stir fried vegetable like this taste so awesome, not the best it was already nicer than usual >< I swear it's not because I'm hungry lol


Here comes the good stuff, fried fish with the sauce, omg missing it T.T


 The normal curry.


noticed why I called that the normal curry, cause here we also ordered the Green curry :)
Seriously both are good but green curry is extraordinary. Normal curry was a little heavy after couple of sip but green curry, it only makes you want more. like seriously, it's something you definitely wouldn't mind going back even just for the next meal :P


I mean how can they make the rice so perfect for everything? It's the soft kind that really capture your taste bud but not too sticky that will look slightly undesirable. It was just nice!

Thanks to those evil taxi drivers we end up having a gooood meal heh there's still some more dishes that I couldn't take picture in time that are actually worth taking note of but, well, too bad. Like their sambal and seafood kerabu, I can't help but drill : )'
Actually thanks to those scam actually, we saved some taxi money too. They won't be so calculative with the taxi money after scamming you so they take really cheap price for the trip, since they're gonna get way more commission from the restaurant anyway.


The night before, we went for sukiyaki shabu shabu. HOLY! what a waste ordering 4 different kind of soup when everyone was only coming for the sukiyaki lol


looks absolutely normal, but NO! the black sukiyaki sauce is the bomb man~



egg, dip the cooked beef in here and immediately serve your mouth, I ensure you the wow you will be having. Don't worry about the uncooked egg, all japanese have them, do you see anyone dying?



 This is salmon, meant to be cook, not sashimi k? NO RAW EATING THIS THING! cook it with the sukiyaki sauce and you will get impress. Just because it's a period mark doesn't mean I'm calm when I'm saying that, it's just that even exclamation mark can't express the wow I get.


 A little rice to go with all those is great, especially when it's this special onion fried rice. not the strong taste but the strong smell in your throat that's impressive. It should not be having a strong taste or else it'll overpower the main dish, the sukiyaki, exactly!


 DESSERT!! I can't say it's my favourite cause I like everything!!! but green tea cremoso...omg people who knows me should know, green tea is totally my weak spot, so when it turns into this soft texture, jelly-like-but-not-so thingy, how can I resist it and how can I not put it as one of my favourites?!


finish EVERYTHING, wow, mum great eater lol


lost Ying sou and bro.
You see that black thingy in both pictures? In the pot right in front of my mum's pot. I don't know but if you see it, that's the thing!



Then found this cupcakes stall outside the restaurant ( the restaurant is in the mall ), I'm like, REALLY? this is all you have? cause even the smallest cupcake store in Canada has more variety than this. obviously I know that's a western dessert, DUH~


Just an awesome coffee shop I passby that will definitely wanna come next time. design of the coffee shop really captures people, or at least, me.




sounds awesome don't they?


Handmade candy
The cool thing is, they show you the making process and somehow able to put words or prints inside each candy, when it's handmade O.O


Now below is where we had lunch in Chatuchak market. Just right before we start working, obviously we need to fill up our tummy before we work as we hard workers use lotsss of energy later o.O
Anyway, these are the local ones that will not impress you any lesser.


kerabu obviously, the famous dish from Thailand. I like how they use fresh seafood for their seafood kerabu. Some bad store literally use bad ones,  yucks!


such a small store but with a lot of surprises. Don't need to understand the words cause their menu contains picture ;) smart marketing skills :P


Their sign that normal tourist will most probably miss out >_<


I prefer this more than KFC!


Their best dish. Always show your best dish to attracts customer, the Thai marketing... I guessed, well they all do so...I don't know I'm just saying...


Actually there is SO MANY more that I don't get to talk about, some are even more local, and obviously, GOOD.
maybe next time you should ask me when you wanna go Bangkok, I might be a pro then XD